Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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