i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
