So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
