Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She even gives head with a lisp.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize