well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think your dad took our porno
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
