it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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