Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
