I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
