I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Pappa wants mamma naked
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
