someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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