Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
