We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
