i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
