Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
