Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
