shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
