Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
