Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
