sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
