How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
