Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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