WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
