i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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