Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
