I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
