Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
