her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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