She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
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