4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
420 ftw
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
