I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
