someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
