I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
