It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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