someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
