is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
