i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
