tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
