last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
