If i come over, it means nothing
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
