No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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