so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
