Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
