Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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