Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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