I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
