What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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