Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
