So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
