i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
