Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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