I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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