I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
