I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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