I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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