Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
