Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
