So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
