im drinking this country out of the recession.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
