I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize