It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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