There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
