Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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