okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
