It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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