now i know why i became what i already was.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize