is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
